Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Inane utterings about toothbrushes

At the moment, I am in a short-attention-span frame of mind. So it was a mistake trying to buy a toothbrush. Has the toothbrush industry been taken over by a Marketing 101 class doing a spoof exercise?

Take the Access, for example. It promises not only a rubber handle with superior grip, but also claims it "reaches behind back teeth". In order to....????? Clean tonsils? Then there is Colgate's micro-sonic power brush, which promises outstanding sonic cleansing because it "combines high-speed sonic vibrations with multi-angled bristles". My brain equates "sonic" with "boom", which seems disappointingly unlikely in this case since the brush is powered by a single AA battery. Reach has the "dualeffect" brush, with "massaging fingers". Not in my mouth, thanks. Johnson & Johnson offers a brush with an "antibacterial microbe handle" – surely a great relief for all those avid toothbrushers who worry about microbes on their toothbrush handles.

After carefully reading each packet, I decided to select my toothbrush using the same criteria - no, criterion - I used when I selected my car. Colour.

4 comments:

PM of NZ said...

One is always in awe how the hordes in third world countries manage their day lacking such necessities...

Lindsay said...

You could have been really masochistic and moved on to toothpaste...the conflict in my house isn't over kids cleaning their teeth but over which toothpaste is acceptable.

brian_smaller said...

Toothpaste is a source of constant conflict in my house. I cannot abide waste of toothpaste, and even cleaning my teeth twice a day at home (at at nearly 50 I still have all my teeth and only two fillings) I use one tube of Sensodyne every six - nine months. My kids on the other hand, squeeze half a tube onto their brushes, leave the top open and generally mutilate the tube.

Oswald Bastable said...

I buy the cheapest ones I can find.

It's not so annoying when you find them thrown in the toilet then...