Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Kick me

Do I look like I want to be humiliated, challenged, wrung through the proverbial washing machine?  Because I'm starting to think someone's stuck something on my back that says as much.

I've spent my afternoon being subjected to a psychometric test that was so awful and a cognitive test that was so challenging that I am now oh so tempted to just withdraw the application for this job.  Note that this is not a CEO job, or even a management job.Of course I want to do exceedingly well in it, because that's just the sort of person I am.  But I really have to question the long, demanding, drawn out process for a role that is, really, insignificant in the scheme of jobs.  So far, the process has involved an initial interview with HR, followed  by a panel behavioural interview, followed by a written exercise, then a psychometric test, then a psychometric interview, then a reading cognitive test, then a numerical cognitive test, followed, possibly, by referee checks..... by which point I wonder if I will still be standing with the exertion.

And as for that "psychometrician".  Get a real job.  That is not a job.  The irony of you giving yourself a fancy, meaningless title, analysing information spewed forth by a computer, and then throwing inaccurate labels at me is not lost on me.  No one but you has ever called me a passive polite procrastinator.  The reason for this is because I am not passive or a procrastinator.  I guess for someone who makes up his job title, 1 out of 3 isn't a bad hit.  It's actually not so inconceivable that a person can be polite and decisive.  The fact that you then started throwing various titles in my direction in an effort to fish until you got a bite completely discredits you.

Sadly, though, you are still a vital link in my quest to get this job.  How badly do I really want this job?  Not so badly after today.

But, honestly, I wouldn't hire myself after those cognitive tests.  Usually, I excel at reading comprehension and maths, but today the words just swam around the page and I, oddly, forgot how to calculate ratios.  What happened there?!? And, somehow, I think I shouldn't say I screwed up because the psychometrician  pissed me off.

The world would be a better place if HR and HR-related psychologists just stepped out of the recruitment process.  In fact, the world would be a marvellous place if HR and their psych buddies just sacked themselves.  I'll  be happy to do it for you.  Then we'll see who's the passive, polite procrastinator.


Rox said...

Hideous isn't it?? Wish me luck for Friday morning when I'll be receiving the same tortureous treatment:(

Opinionated Mummy said...

Ugh. My deepest condolences. Good luck. Hopefully your inner psycho will behave, unlike mine.

BD said...

Gotta be a council, SOE, DHB, or government for that sort of torture

PC said...

Personnel pricks should be shot n sight. I'm surprised they're allowed to live. ;^)

Good luck with the job hunt. But don't take any more shit than you have to.

Oswald Bastable said...

Pass me another employmet consultant.

I seem to have split the last one!

Anonymous said...

HR - Human Remains

Could be worse, you could have to spill your guts infront of your psycho classmates in the name of therapy, I mean some of these people have never even had therapy, so why do they want to be therapists?? FFS! Like wanting to be pilots never having been on a plane. hmmm on a plane, sounds wrong, in a plane...


T. Evans said...

Anonymous Grace, that's just weird that you firstly post a comment so far off the topic that it's bizarre, and then decide that only people who have been through therapy can be therapists?!? Head in clouds rubbish.

Sorry OM, couldn't help myself. That last comment was so vacuous. Good blog. Most enjoyable.