Thursday, April 1, 2010

An update

Where are my manners?  When I found the time over the last few days to overcome my hiatus and resurrect my blog, the one blog that I should have prioritised was an update of my life, especially for all those bloggers who kindly and selflessly helped me out when I was at my lowest.

The financial and emotional help was a turning point for me. I was able to settle some IOU debts, invest in a cheap but decent suit, nice work shoes, a few shirts, damn lawyers fees. And then I hit the job market before hitting rock bottom again.

And life hasn't been still since. And I have never been busier.

I am now working full time, in the office doing many hours on the days the kids are with their father, and working from home when the kids are with me. It's wonderful to be in the workforce again, and be recognised and needed for my intellect and my grown up social skills.

Don't get too comfortable now. I am still struggling to accept the betrayal around the marriage break up, and I am still struggling with the resentment that comes with only seeing my children for half of the week. And I am struggling with the challenge of juggling work, kids, and ageing parents. And I have frequent crises of confidence.

But, on the whole, life does feel like it's looking up. There is a lot to smile about and laugh at, and it helps that I work with such naturally positive and caring people. At times, the sense of impending clinical depression never feels too far away and I have to make a conscious effort to smile or laugh. But I remain hopeful that in time the effort involved will diminish and it all becomes automatic and totally natural.

I remain thankful - so very thankful - to all who helped me out, and to the many people who are still helping me out in their own wonderful way.


WWallace said...

Thanks for the update. So glad that things are starting to look brighter than they were.

‘A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.’ ~Herm Albright

Oswald Bastable said...

The turning point isn't too far from when you hit the wall.

Looks like you took the right turn!

Opinionated Mummy said...

Thank you. And thanks for that quote WWallace. Worth framing that one. I know I sound like a hippie here, but I really do love you all.